her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
