I cockslap morals
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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