the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
