she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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