Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
