It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
