you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
