Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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