weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I cannot find my penis.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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