Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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