I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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