I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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