My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
