I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
