you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
