Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I FOUND THE LEGS
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
