im having a threesome with these popsicles
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you made out with another girl for some wings
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
