I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
