So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
