I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
