so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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