Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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