why do cheetos always look like penises
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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