he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Randomize
