I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I AM VODKA MAN
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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