We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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