The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
