I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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