I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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