no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
and she was petting her beer can
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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