well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
