I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
