Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
3 2 1 whiskey
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
