Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
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