Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
