Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You're so nebulous sometimes
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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