i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
