Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
