Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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