on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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