Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
