thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize