Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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