You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
