Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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