i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
