It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
