somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
