i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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