His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
