i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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