I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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