the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
