I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
And then he peed in my hair
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
