who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
oh god the rape fog is back!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
