man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
