the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
