Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
