Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
