we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
