My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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