If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
