just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
