I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize