I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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