dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You took a bar mat shot.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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